Yes, McDonald's. Some of you might consider reviewing the golden arches as a exercise in futility, but the reality is that there are probably ten more meals consumed at the town's fast food restaurants in any given month than at any other outlet.

No Deliveroo rider was troubled in the making of this review. Instead I sauntered over to the drive thru on Kenavon Drive through a freezing cold night and ordered from the touch screen machines. Again, no reason to bother a human being with the food ordering process, although it could not yet take an image of my face and suggest my order using AI.

Inside was a production line largely serving an endless queue of delivery drivers, but also quite a few dine in eaters, along with a seemingly endless line of cars at the drive thru windows. I think that I was the only walk in taking away.

What the McDonald's is doing here on Kenavon Drive (alongside its neighbouring KFC drive thru) is a conundrum. It ticks all the wrong boxes that our council says it is trying to support - healthy eating, getting people out of cars, emission controls, traffic jams, endless litter, pollution in the river, I could go on...

I wrote to the local councillor (now Mayor) Tony Page on this issue a couple of years ago having gotten sick of a garden full of litter and literally not being able to drive home because of tailbacks running out onto the IDR. His response was a glib (and I paraphrase) - 'don't worry, one day all this will be flats'. It sounds like the KFC is already on the block with a massive new development mooted there as soon as Huntley Wharf is complete.

There, rant over. But by now I think you may well realise that I am not exactly a fan of this food outlet and I think I've popped in only five times before in the ten years we've lived nearby (two of those were for hangover cures on the way to the station).

But you cannot argue with the success of this global franchise. (If you want some history, The Founder is an excellent movie about how it all started - currently available on Netflix and ITVX Premium). It is a towering, perennial success with over 40,000 outlets in more than 100 countries. There are seven branches in Reading alone, all of which are franchises, run under licence.

Frankly, writing a review of McDonald's is like reviewing a religion. It seems to be more of a matter of faith than of food.

But here goes anyway.

I bought two large meals made up of the special Big n Cheesy with bacon, large fries and a banana milkshake, with a toffee apple doughnut added for good measure.

Let's start with the fries. Of my grandmothers, one made thick double cooked chips and always had a chip pan on the stove, whilst the other would finely chop potatoes from the garden into what the French would call allumettes and the rest of the world call French Fries. I always preferred the former, but it is the latter, or at least a version thereof, that you get at Ronald's gaff.

They are cold by the time they are served and taste overwhelmingly of sunflower oil. Obviously, the thinner a chip is, the more of it is made up of the frying agent. They are soggy and undercooked and, frankly, just an agent for the indispensable tomato ketchup that must be consumed with them.

The Big n Cheesy was a large slab of thin dry minced beef in a strange stale roll (not the usual burger bun) with lettuce, red onion and a rather strong and gloppy cheese sauce that reminded me of those tubes of cheese you can buy.

It was all rather dry and unpleasant, with the uncooked red onions being the best part. I managed about a quarter of mine.

That may have been because the banana milkshake was something of a meal in itself.

It comes so thick that you can barely suck it out of its cup (it does melt and become more manageable after a while). It is teeth crunchingly sweet.

The toffee apple doughnut was just strange. An OK batter topped in caramel icing with the odd dollop of apple puree in the ring. My wife threw hers away since the smell disgusted her. I rather enjoyed my first bite, but it was diminishing returns after that. I also disposed of the last quarter and felt a bit nauseous. I have a seriously sweet tooth but with the shake, this was too much sugar even for me.

So, there. Our duty in representing all of the eateries in our town garners another tick and I probably won't be back until the next big night out demands a coffee and breakfast mcmuffin on my way to the station. Meanwhile, I wonder at the endless queues every day as I walk past.